No Quiero Taco Bell

It felt like a new beginning. The Diamondbacks were coming off a successful road trip and they returned to Chase Field with a new resolve to finish the season strong. That attitude was present throughout the ballpark.

Diamondbacks fans seemed more confident and even the little old man taking tickets was on his game wielding his hand held scanner like a Jedi Knight checking people in at the turnstiles. Everyone seemed to be on their game tonight.

In the pre-game festivities, the Legends made their way around the playing surface. You could see their resolve in the large foam eyes. These guys had come to race and race hard. In order to win, it was going to take a tremendous amount of talent and keen concentration.

In the early innings the Diamondbacks cemented the mood jumping in front of the division leading San Diego Padres early and often. By the third inning the Diamondbacks were leading 6-2. This was great news for the fans.

When the Diamondbacks score six or more runs Taco Bell offers three free tacos with the purchase of a large drink. I knew what we were having for dinner tomorrow evening. There was dancing in the bleachers as taco-loving fans gyrated to the thoughts of free Mexican food.

As the fifth inning arrived I was at the edge of my seat. After a week without Legends Races I could hardly wait for the race to begin. With the final out of the fifth inning the speakers in Chase Field were filled with the sounds of the trumpet calling the Legends to the starting line.

The public address announcer had the call and as the race began five mascots rushed out of the Padres bullpen running wildly down the warning track towards the San Diego dugout.

Wait, what was that? There were five mascots racing? Let’s see, there is Matt Williams, Randy Johnson, and Luis Gonzalez. Well they are all present and accounted for. In front of them was Mark Grace who was leading the Legends in a surprise. Well that’s four did I just miscount?

No in front of the Legends was a Taco Bell taco! What is he doing here? The taco race has long been gone from Chase Field so what was going on? As I watched I noticed Grace was no longer focused on winning the race. Instead his big foam eyes were set on the giant taco right in front of him.

I couldn’t tell but it looked like polyester drool at the corner of his humungous mouth. The taco could sense he was in danger as Grace closed in to take a giant bite out of his crispy shell.

There was panic in the taco my friends as he began wildly running for his life. In hot pursuit was Grace who was no longer interested in racing legends when there was food to be had.

The taco turned running back for the safety of the Padres bullpen with Grace hot on his trail. While the other Legends crossed the finish line, the last sight we saw was Grace with outstretched hands leaping for a giant taco.

We may have just witnessed the beginnings of mascot cannibalism. We will know for sure tomorrow if Grace comes out with a giant used taco sauce packet stuck to his shoe. One thing is for sure, Grace didn’t win driving his record to 0-31.

About Jeff Summers

Just a guy from Section 132 Row 9 Seat 9 trying to understand the metaphysics of baseball and whether the knuckleball defies Newton's first law of motion.
This entry was posted in 2010 Races and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to No Quiero Taco Bell

  1. Well, if he did eat a giant Taco Bell taco last night, I’ve got a sure way for him to win today. Put a toliet at the finish line of tonight’s race, as he’ll make a beeline for it!

  2. Pingback: We Got Spirit Yes We Do | Let Grace Win!

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