Beer Today Gone Tomorrow

As the fans began to make their way into Chase Field before the game they were greeted by air conditioning and by the Diamondbacks Legends who were on the concourse posing for pictures and interacting with the fans.

It is hard to tell which the fans were more excited about. While it is great to be up close and personal with one of the four Legends, there is something to be said for air conditioning especially when thermometers outside were proclaiming temperatures of 108 degrees.

And as hot as it is during a Phoenix summer for baseball fans, you cannot even imagine what it must be like to be dressed in a ten-foot polyester suit with a giant head. It is amazing one of these four Legends has not dropped from heat exhaustion.

Maybe that is why they run so fast during the races, to cool off. I remember when I was a kid and asked my grandfather whether his car had air conditioning. He said, “Yeah I got 4-40 air conditioning”.

Curious I asked what exactly 4-40 air conditioning was. His reply, “Four windows down and 40 miles an hour”. That may have been the last time I ever asked my grandpa a question.

As the Legends began stretching in the Reds bullpen during the fifth inning I was hopeful this was going to be the night that Mark Grace finally won. The fans sitting around me just shake their head or sympathetically pat my head.

When the race started Grace jumped out to an early lead. With each stride he was putting distance between himself and the other Legends.

My heart started to race. I leaned forward sitting on just the edge of my seat. I was about to witness history. Grace was going to win! I heard myself cheering, “He’s going to win, he’s going to win!”

The fans all around us began standing up so they would have an unobstructed view of history being made. Grace was clearly focused. His polyester head looking straight ahead; nothing else mattered.

Then as he reached the Reds on-deck circle Grace’s head lurched to the left. Something had caught his eye and he turned to face the crowd. There three rows up stood a beer vendor selling his wares to the fans seated behind home plate.

Grace stopped in his tracks and fumbled around his large mascot pockets pulling out cash and motioning to the vendor that he wanted a beer. As he impatiently tried to get the vendor’s attention the other Legends caught and passed Grace.

Matt Williams crossed the finish line first winning the race while Grace still stood there trying to buy a beer. He would end up in last place not even finishing the race. A dejected and still thirsty Legend Grace was now 0-27.

Given the way tonight’s race had gone I have come to the conclusion that even a Budweiser Clydesdale pulling a beer wagon could beat Grace in a Legends race.